Check Yes or No

On the top right corner of my Health Benefits Enrollment was a little box. There were four choices: single, married, divorced, or widowed.
I don't like to compare myself to a dog, but I could feel the hairs bristle on the back of my neck as I re-read the choices.
I can understand the need to know if a person is single or married when it comes to coverage of the policy.
What I wanted an answer to, was why they needed to know if a person, that person being ME, was divorced or widowed? How did this information change how the policy covered me?
THAT is what I wanted to know.

I left it blank for a couple of days.
I contacted our benefits representative to clarify the difference between the choices. She didn't know. They had taken that box off of another application and "just used it", she said. Just pick one.

I won't even begin to understand the emotions on checking "widowed." That is a whole other post that needs to be written by someone else. You know the old saying, "until you walk a mile in another one's moccassins....."

However, being tagged with a label of divorced irritated me. I felt like I had stepped back into a 1950's movie....Can't you just see the few people all huddled up beside the water cooler?  "Shhhh! She is,.... you know,.... divorced." (Eyebrows raise)
Granted, time has changed that old stigma, and things are better.
I don't remember ever feeling that I judged someone because they were divorced, however, once you are in that position yourself, your guard goes up. It feels as if you are being judged.

I feel like I have been judged in social settings, you know, the fifth wheel syndrome....
I have seen it portrayed throughout the media, the cougar tag, the divorcee'.....
I have unfortunately, felt it in churches....either the "singles" group, or "where do we put her question"....
I have seen it in the top right corner of a health benefits form. (bristle, bristle)

I acknowledge that part of these feelings are probably because this station in life is still fresh and new. I am discovering that some people do judge you and label you divorced. I am also learning that a lot of people understand the circumstances and accept me as single. I like that.

For the record, I checked the "single" box.
It was my choice. I picked one.  

Luke 5:16 “..but Jesus often slipped away to be alone so he could pray.” (NCV)