I said, I would add a new journal entry when there is a man in my life.
Sitting here reflecting on the year 2012, I realize that I am very grateful for several men in my life. Their presence has probably affected me more this year than any year in my life...all fifty five of them.
The one who has been with me the longest is my dad. Never before than this year, have I realized how very special he is to me. With tears in my eyes right now, I have to say that he has taught me what true patience is. In June, he suffered a severe stroke. His left side of his body is paralyzed and he is wheelchair bound in a nursing home. Once a few years ago, when I was overwhelmed and struggling so with some issues, he told me "never give up"...... those words have come back to my mind many a time. Somehow he maintains his sense of humor and there have been many times I marvel how he can not be angry over his current situation. It is a very humbling situation to be dependent on other people for some things he cannot do right now for himself. I have to think about his situation sometimes and put things into perspective when I feel my pride won't allow me to give in and let others help me in some cases. I know years from now I will look back and think about the hours sitting by his bedside while he was on a ventilator and how far we have come to now when I can sit and watch American Pickers and Pawn Stars with him. I will always be grateful to have been his daughter.
I am thankful for my two sons and my other son... my son in law for their unconditional love and .....this is hard to say..........but for their forever teasing me. Often times I feel, because it is true....that I am the brunt of their jokes. I know I can be a space cadet at times. I say it is always healthy to admit your own faults, but thankfully, I have sons who are always willing to go above and beyond pointing them out for me. Of course, I don't always appreciate it at the time, but upon reflection, I think they have made me stronger in a lot of ways. I know for sure though, each one of them would "have my back" if need be. What started out as two young boys have grown up to be two young men that I couldn't be prouder of as a mother. I am grateful to be their mother and to have Brad let me be "the mother in law"....and if he looks upon me as the wicked mother in law, well, he has done a good job of hiding it so far.
They say good things come in small packages and I know that two little packages that Katie, my daughter delivered, have to be the shining stars in my life. Children are wonderful things but grandbabies, well, they are just better than a person not having any can imagine! I said before Brody was born, that I wanted to be "Grammy". Nothing ending in "maw" because I wanted to be called a cool name. When Brody started talking and it became obvious that he was going to say Mamaw when he saw me or my picture, all it took was for the words mamaw to come out of his little mouth ...........and I melted. This mamaw has learned that she is grateful for Brody and Colton because they energize me...........well, they wear me out sometimes, but the twinkle in their eyes have kept a twinkle in my eyes many a day this past year.
More times than I can name, my brother, Wayne has stepped in and helped my family through a very difficult year. We all have had "our plates full" trying to juggle our own lives and muddle our way through the past six months of changes, pain, and trial. When he was a toddler, he always managed to guilt me into putting him on the back of my bike and go riding when I really just wanted to go alone with my friends. He would always fall asleep and slump over in the childseat that fastened onto the back of my bike. His plead of "please" would always win me over though. One of hardest things for me when I left home was to leave him behind. We are twelve years in age difference and I always thought of him as my own little boy. Throughout this past year, I felt like I rode on the back of his bike so to speak. Maybe I felt like slumping over and letting him take charge of steering. I hope I have held my own. It's been hard and difficult for the entire family. I am so grateful to have had him along on this journey, rough road we traveled.
Patti, who lives next door says she has the best neighbors around. I have seen her write this on her facebook wall many a time. I moved to Franklin a few years ago, and their are four neighbor men who have blessed my life maybe more than they know. Two are what I have dubbed "The Lawn Rangers". Larry and Bill have tagged team it and mowed my yard several times. I am not sure how they time it, but it always seems to have perfect timing. I know more than once I have went straight from work, onto the hospital, run errands only to come home after dark, dead tired and find the yard I knew had to be on the priority list tomorrow, was already mowed. The other two men, Mike and Chad, have an uncanny way of just knowing when I needed a pick me up. I lost my dog this summer. Anyone who knows me knows that Doc was a true best friend to me and my walking buddy. Doc had a stroke and seizure in February, and there followed declining health. In August, I finally decided to put him to sleep because his central nervous system was shutting down. Facing a lonely first weekend without him, I got a text message from these two ordering me to The Willard. I had no idea they knew about Doc, but they extended their sympathies immediately and thankfully had me engaged in conversation and laughter the rest of the evening. Sometimes, the most simple acts of kindness can mean the most to a person.
Thinking about the close of 2012, my first impulse is to say good riddence! The truth is though, a lot of the hardest times in our lives is when we realize all the best things in our lives. Which, brings me to the most important man in my life. God. I realize that I haven' spent as much time with Him as I should have these past six months. I do know though that I could only have made it this far because he has carried me. For that I am truly grateful.
What will 2013 bring? If my friend, Deb, has her way.............she is on a mission to introduce me to the online dating website journey............then maybe next year their will be someone else to be grateful for.
