A dated ornament purchased at Walt Disney World reminded me of a wonderful vacation from the past.
A hand painted ornament reminded me of a dear lady who lived near me early in my marriage. I am sure she is looking down at me from heaven each year I put that ornament up and pack it ever so gently away after the holidays.
A golden glittery snowflake reminds me of the student that more often than not got under my skin. I can remember how excited he was when I told him how the snowflake glistened on my tree when the lights hit it "just so." He didn't seem so annoying then.
There were homemade ornaments that my very own children made in elementary school; the angel with folded wings and glitter still clinging to the fragile paper with Katie printed in red crayon on the backside.
Some of the ornaments are old, some are new, but all of them have a memory attached to them.
I unwrapped a paper towel and there lay an ornament I purchased myself last year.
It was a silver peace sign about 4 inches in diameter. The peace sign has embedded rhinestones that sparkle and shine. I placed the peace symbol front and center on my tree this year.
Peace.
Everyone needs and wants peace to be a part of their lives. I wanted peace to be a part of my life again.
I needed to get control.
Anyone who has been through a personal crisis of any type feels like they have lost control and at some point desperately seek to find peace again in their life.
I had been working hard to control peace in my life.
I started practicing yoga. I began reading more. I listen daily to encouraging music. I take long walks.
It dawned on my the other day as I listened to the radio that for genuine peace to be present, we had to let God be in control.
I knew this of course. I had learned this lesson in a very profound way several years ago.
I was driving home from my son's college swim meet in St. Louis. We had planned on staying overnight, but the meet was shorter than we expected and we decided to drive on home. My husband fell asleep in the passenger seat, sound asleep. It was going to be a peaceful trip home.
One thing about driving though: I am not a fan of driving in the rain and especially at night. Soon, I found myself doing both. I was landlocked between two huge semi trucks when we came upon fog. This was the densest fog I have ever seen. I could barely see the front of my car and I felt sheer panic wash over me. My hands were in a death grip on the steering wheel. I felt what I later assessed as a panic attack sweep over me and my voice was lost, I could not move my eyes or hands. It felt like every bone in my body became stiff and I knew we were going to get sandwiched between the semi trucks soon. I wanted to cry out to Bruce to wake up but the voice was not there. I felt sure we were about to die. I began to pray like I had never prayed before asking for help. Very soon I felt a presence over my shoulder and then a feeling of calm settle in on me. I got control of my speed and somehow drove past the semi and settled into the lane without two huge semis blocking my vision or towering around me. My breathing seemed to be returning to normalcy as I noticed a hand resting on the dashboard in front of me. I inched my fingers, without releasing too much of my death grip on the steering wheel, to tweak the dash lights. I blinked. The hand was still there. I was in awe. I knew then that God was indeed my co pilot and had rescued me on this journey.
He was in control.
He restored peace.
Why hadn't I remembered this time that left such an impact on my faith journey? How did I come upon a time again in my life that peace seemed so far away? I guess we all at times tend to forget that we are not in control.
I have decided to leave the peace symbol ornament out all year long.
I look at it shine in the light and I realize that yes, it is a peace symbol.
But it is also a symbol for me to remember to have peace I need to remember who controls my peace.
Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.
Ephesians 4:3
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